The dangers of what we say.

I’m on Twitter. For the most part it’s damned good fun, it allows you to post one hundred and forty character long thoughts and updates known as tweets. People have likened it to the status update on Sitonmyfacebook, but there are dangers lurking upon Twitter.

First up, fake celebrities; there are many. Most are really. Barack Obama, unsurprisingly has the largest following with Stephen Fry (self-styled ‘vice president of Twitter’) is a close second. I follow (meaning I see their updates on my page) David Mitchell, Amanda Palmer, Charlie Brooker and Muse along with other people, mainly friends and random people who get in contact.

The second and main danger is what you type. Roughly seven or eight hours ago (at the time of writing) I wrote an update saying something like ‘I can’t think of anything worse than having to listen to a Savage Garden album.’ then as an afterthought added ‘Maybe listening to two Savage Garden albums.’ I go away to the first night of The King And I - from my point of view it went pretty well, thanks for asking - and come back to find that the lead singer of Savage Garden is now following me on Twitter. Clearly he did a search for his old band, found I had written about them and added me. He probably didn’t even read what I had said about them.

Here’s the trouble; I now don’t want to slag off his band again as he will see the update and hunt me down. He might kill me on a mountain or drown me in the sea. I also feel that this has limited me to what I can do on Twitter. So I will say right now, I hate the Pussycat Dolls and the Black-Eyed Peas. I despise any film that Owen Wilson had anything to do with (Zoolander had some good moments, mainly the bits that he wasn’t in) and Chris Moyles can f*** right off. I say this here as I can’t say them on Twitter.

Just so you know, Savage Garden have two albums that I know of, and I’ve heard them both many, many times. I used to go out with a Savage Garden fan, but I’m older and wiser now and check people’s CD collections before I contemplate relationships. Does that make me shallow? I sincerely hope so.