Ten Things That I Have Never Done At Christmas.

1. Watched the Queen's Speech.
One day I will, but at three o'clock on Christmas day I'm usually thinking about food. Or eating food.

2. Been in a shop when it closes on Christmas Eve.
Mainly because it would be bloody horrible to 1) Witness people just grabbing anything and 2) Getting back home afterward.

3. Witness a family member get drunk and argue with other family members.
Thankfully I don't really come from a big family of drinkers. However it would be brilliant to see certain of my family members a little the worse for ware.

4. Kept my paper hat from my cracker on for the rest of the day.
I always think I'm going to, but then I go outside and decide I look a fool or it rips. One day it will be on until I go to bed.

5. Had a snowball fight/built a snowman.
Because it NEVER snows at Christmas round here. If it does then it's just a small dusting, hardly enough for one decent snowball...

6. Gone for a walk cheerily saying Merry Christmas to everyone that walks past me.
If I do for a walk (i.e. walk the dog) I never see anyone. Clearly they're enjoying the day, cooking lunch or just having fun inside somewhere.

7. Attended a Watch Night Service.
My local church would be bloody freezing. The heating doesn't work at the best of times so going at 23:30 on Christmas Eve would be chucking filly.

8. Managed to sleep past nine on Christmas Morning.
I'm twenty-five and still get excited about Christmas. I'm sad.

9. Anything to do with carol singing.
I have never been carol singing, carol singers have never turned up at my door, I have never seen a group or carolers on the street.

10. Seen Television's idea of Christmas in real life.
Has anyone ever seen this though? Television's idea of Christmas is a dark, but well lit street with lots of snow carefully shoveled to the side so it's there without being a slippery threat. Inevitably a rosy-cheeked we scamp (wearing a hat with a bobble on top of it) will feature somewhere. Everyone's in a good mood and smiling and there's a group of carolers singing while all the shop keepers look out of their windows and appear happy? Is Christmas really like that anywhere?